Why Am I (Still) Like This?
★★★☆☆ Thinking aloud
The Space@ Surgeon’s Hall (Venue 53): Fri 2 – Sat 24 Aug 2024
Review by Sophie Good
Nicole Nadler returns to the Fringe with Why Am I (Still) Like This? produced by High Heels and Heavy Suitcases, at theSpace@Surgeons Hall, in which she asks some key questions about her ADHD diagnosis.
Nadler is still seeking answers about her diagnosis of ADHD at 30, following her successful run of Why Am I Like This? in 2023. She’s still reeling, and doesn’t necessarily have a happy healing ending to offer but she’s keen to share some of her (many) thoughts and reflections.
Nicole Nadler. Photomontage from High Heels and Heavy Suitcases
Directed by Arden Winant, the one woman show is literally a self reflection as Nadler frequently addresses herself in the mirror as she asks herself in many different ways ‘what is wrong with me’.
She tells of how her diagnosis has helped reframe some of her language for example, instead of forgetting where she’s put something, she struggles with ‘object permanence’ and her drama queen moments are in fact ’emotional dysregulation’. It’s clear that language has an important role in helping people to understand themselves better.
There is little reprieve in this fast paced piece, which still runs 10 minutes longer than the advertised time. There is simply so much to fit in around Nadler’s perceived shortcomings and her struggle to believe in herself. She rakes over the past to relive moments of real anguish; one that is especially memorable is missing the school bus and begging to be let on at a later time-slot and being teased for it. Her sense of not being able to behave like the other kids is impactful and emotive.
confidence
It’s clear that Nadler’s early years have had an impact on her confidence and she mentions how hard it is for young people to experience the chaos. She then goes on to try to prove her self worth to herself by playing back quotes from last year’s audience reviews of the show. This doesn’t seem to have much effect on Nadler, and in reality within the show it feels like it goes on too long.
Nicole Nadler. Pic: High Heels and Heavy Suitcases.
There is mention of the ADHD tax, the expense involved with things like applying for your visa on the wrong date. These tangible examples are by the most effective and strongest parts of her show which elucidate what those behaviours feel like on the inside.
Nadler’s inner monologue is what the piece is really about and she ably manages to give you an insight into her brain. It’s all very relatable and breathy and anxious. However the chaotic nature of her thoughts can also mean you don’t know as an audience quite where it’s going. Tighter direction might help stop the self reflection becoming too circuitous.
It’s a show which gives a powerful insight into people living with neurodiversity and the impact it has on their day to day lives. It’s worth just less than an hour of your time to understand why some people ‘are’ like this and perhaps feel a little better informed as well as entertained and carried along with the brave truths that Nadler confronts.
Running time: 55 mins (no interval)
theSpace @ Surgeon’s Hall (Stephenson Theatre), Nicolson St, EH8 9DW (Venue 53)
Fri 2 – Sat 24 Aug 2024
Daily, not Sun 11: 6.10pm.
Tickets and details: Book here.
Website: http://highheelsandheavysuitcases.com/
Instagram: @highheelsandheavysuitcases
Facebook: @highheelsandheavysuitcases
ENDS
